I started taking prozac right before 9/11!?!

Got up to 40 mg by the end of Sept. 2001 and had a breakdown by Thanksgiving. I don't have the anxiety and stress I had then. With out the depression to sedate me I became this angry beast all of the time. Was this anger mania/anxiety fueling all the years of not getting mad? Maybe I can find a shrink that can let me check my blog from the office or bring a laptop? I know I'll have a hard time expressing myself. Written notes..? Look like a real nut job!

New Meds

Thank you 7-11?

MH Section8 #234692

I'm just FUCKING number to you ID photo wearing state employee slaves! "No I'm not suicidal at this moment"- End of the line loser!

BERT!

Sick fucking pig,lazy piece of shit,fake,lying,pervert! Somebody take out the garbage - future "Darwin Award" winner Marc the fuck head.

The only women who want to have sex with me are over the age of 60. Rotting teeth,legs and feet from type 2 diabetes,Bipolar,borderline everything,night terrors,anti-social,suicidal.

Marc go concert fun! Fire bad!

Laughed my ass off at the Comedians of Comedy concert Friday night.
Way funnier then the DVD concerts and it was nice just to get out on a Friday night. I'm glad I did not just give up after not getting a advance ticket.

Oprah, had two shows about bipolar people this week and on her site there was some good stuff. I think Monday I will try the free downtown clinic care provided by the county. Need to get my diabetes under control and I would like to look into trying some therapy.

I have been living in a bubble with not working or talking with family. This dream life can't last forever...! Ha! Ha! I got to deal with my shit. I'm 40 what am I just waiting to die?

Hitler Spiral Taking Bert Downward

I look like Bert and act like a passive puppet most of the time. But I feel frustrated and a loss of control from not being able to get one fucking concert ticket from Safeway/ticketwest. Also felt like everyone was staring at me as I walked from one end of downtown and back again.

Scream like Hitler in one of his nazis party rallies "What the fuck are you looking at? Keep walking or I will goose step my foot up your ass?" "Can't you fucking do one simple thing and find a concert on your stupid computer- off to the Russian front for you bitch!"

I am a man(ia) freak so let's take stock

1. Sex drive override - I think I have calmed down from over self pleasure.

2. Talking out loud to daydreams - Clear sign of mania trip but this time no anxiety?

3. No external pressure - No job or family ripping my small amount of self worth and turning my mood swing to anger and rage.

4. No money problem stress - Getting unemployment money and cash from credit.

5. Trigger? - Got sick with fever and bad neck pain just before mania lift off.

6. Internet messaging - Exchanged email with high school reunion thespian on myspace that was positive, but I may have been alittle hard with some of comments on blogs and myspace comments. Really helped not to isolate myself and have a forum for expressing myself.

7. No crash yet? - Walking,lot of water drinking, and vitamin taking. Helping?